breezy day

Phew, the first day back to work was breezy. I woke up at 6am, fed and changed my little snug bug, and he promptly fell back to sleep in his swing like he is used to doing in unison with mommy. He snoozed while I got ready to go. I dug out the curling iron I hadn't used in over three months and put on some earrings even though I thought my holes were closing up (yeah, I was pretty low key for the holidays). I said goodbye to my little sleepyhead, kissed him in his sleep, and got teary when I turned to grab my bags to go this morning. My parents were there with hugs that boosted me up just enough to keep my chin up to run out the door into the rain. It was a crappy, rainy, ucky day and J and I jumped in the car. I whimpered a bit more to him in the car..."It isn't that I can't handle going back to work, I don't WANT to handle going back..." I think in the scheme of things I want to BE back at work I just didn't know HOW to go back. If I could just fast forward a couple weeks when we have everything figured out, I would be set. I again don't know what I don't know (an icky feeling that accompanies change that always ends up good in the end). I want to have Aiden's "schedule" all figured out. I felt like I was pumping all day (five times! every two hours starting right when I got in at 8am), but somehow this kid is into champion bottle eating now and beat me by a couple ounces (I pumped a bit over 19 ounces and he ate 23!!) We are going to get him on some slow flow nipples just to get some extra sucking in to be sure he really needs that much. Pumping in my office was a very strange feeling, but I didn't have any trouble. I had my digital photo frame clicking away so I wouldn't miss my little sweet lips too much. I called home around lunch and Granny put Aiden on the phone with me to say hi, which kept me going. It was easier to deal with feeling tired than I expected, but I definitely hit a 3pm slump harder than I used to. I rushed out of my office when it was time to go home and it seemed like the day just breezed by. Since I've been home he only had a little 5 minute snack, so I think he decided to power feed while I was away today. I can't thank my parents enough for making this transition as easy as possible for me, J and especially Aiden.