What were you doing a year ago? I ask myself that question and I think of coming home from my RISD class pretty tired to find a box of pregnancy tests on the coffee table. J had purchased them for me because I hadn't had a real period for over a month and a half and I seemed kinda out of sorts (aka sick and grumpy). He didn't mention that he thought I might be pregnant to which I would've replied - you've gotta be crazy - since I knew how screwed up my cycle had been and I had had my period for the entire month of January. He just went out to grocery shop and picked up some sticks to pee on. In a fit of sleepiness I giggled as I opened it saying you really think that this is possible? He just smiled back shaking his head like he already knew. I peed and before I could even pay attention to the little windows there was a single word - pregnant - staring back at me. I asked whether "not" shows up after thirty seconds and as I russled through the instruction paper I began to well up inside. "Well up" with joy, anticipation, and disbelief!? It was like that feeling you get when they announce your name for an award you had no idea you were even eligible for.
The next few weeks of that first doctor's appointment and telling all our family and friends are a big blur to me now. I'm afraid that the whole thing would be a big blur if it weren't for this blog. I'm so glad that I can go back to read the tidbits. Sometimes I cringe, but most of the time I smile at all the snapshot memories. I can hardly believe how much can happen in a year.
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