belly theories

Top 10 Big Belly theories - most not so scientific, some just for ramblings sake:
1. I'm drinking plenty of water. This water is being retained, especially towards the end of the day, making belly a big reservoir - which seems to have a tidal current sometimes.
2. Aiden is the best fort maker ever and will eventually become an architect making little houses in the desert around Frank Lloyd Wright's Taliesen. He'll be sure to invite mommu and daddoo to visit.
3. Formerly-inverted-uterus (I like to try to say that as one word or better yet it's like the-artist-formerly-known-as-Prince) pushed everything around and decided to stand up at attention making me pop sooner.
4. My stomach muscles have split in four pieces now sitting at each corner of the belly. Proof are these muscle lines on each corner and when I laugh the middle of the belly is somehow not connected to anything. The corners just pulls the belly button around like a marionette without the strings.
5. My office chair and office has some magnetic force (that kills three hard drives in three months - no kidding) that is drawing my magnetic belly button out to hit into my desk.
6. Since I ate almost a whole pineapple, it has reformed and nested next to Aiden's pocket so that he can plug in for some of that addictive sweet nectar whenever he wants.
7. Aiden was hiding his little camera shy sibling from all three of the ultrasounds we've had already and there are somehow twins in there!
8. What my doctor calls the perfectly placed placenta has it's own appetite and is taking over its own space. It is manufacturing bubble gum which it gives to Aiden so it can steal his food while he's distracted chewing.
9. The hair follicles that are popping out on my belly need space for their roots. It's only peach fuzz, but ew, I have enough hair already.
10. My belly was trying to make sure that I never traumatized it again by putting on one of those ridiculous fitting room stuffed bellies to see if a shirt would look good three months from now.
These are in no particular order because I'm not pretending to be David Letterman.