expectations

I know it's still very early, but with a friend here in RI that just got back from the hospital with her new family of four, and a friend at work and friends far away expecting any day now, I can't help but think of the logistics of the babies' actual birthday. The best hospital in the area just broke ground on a whole new area that won't be complete until 2008. This is the place that we plan to use because we've heard it's by far the best in the area. Although I had a dream that during my labor there is a jack hammer in the next room and I can't hear what my doctor is trying to say. uh crazy i know. To alleviate my worry I jumped on their website right when I woke up this morning. I ended up taking their virtual tour, and it looks really nice. From the inner walking corridor to the whirlpool you can use for up to 45 minutes (sans partner only) I was pretty impressed. They highlighted that their construction and the road construction around their area, and my anxiety of even getting to the hospital was provoked. J and I are going to have to test drive our route ahead of time when the time gets closer. No babies in the back seat of a car for me!

i love eggs

I can't get enough eggs! If you ask me what I want to eat all I can think of are eggs - even before I think of peanut butter! egg salad, scrambled with a sprinkle of old bay, egg english muffin, egg fried rice. J actually scrambled up his very first egg ever to make fried ride the other night! I didn't believe him at first, but he hardly eats eggs so I guess it's possible. A very close competitor with the egg is cottage cheese. This is an obsession that resurfaces from the days in middle school when I would have a bowl of cottage cheese and chocolate milk or the days in high school when I would have cottage cheese on white bread with italian dressing. yea I know gross, but I wonder if we have any italian dressing right now. i better go check.

sniffer

I can't get over my strooong sense of smell. Everything smells slightly off and much stronger than usual. I'm lucky that it isn't really effecting my appetite, but oh boy I think the smells make me feel the sickest. The worst was last week at work when we had a big sushi event with pizza next door - oh geez fisshy pizza is gross. I'm sure our new bad loud neighbors (good thing we move in just a few weeks) are smoking in our smoke free building. I can't wait until I never have to be near the kitty litter. I walk into target and I'm overwhelmed by the "fresh" popcorn they have in the snack bar. It always looks and smells better than it tastes. The best part are all the new spring blossoms around here. I walk to work inhaling the perfume in the air.

doctor deal

Our doctor's appt went very well. After searching around a bit, she was able to get a booming, clear heart beat. It made me smile and the doctor smiled back. I had decided I liked her. Then she sat back down to tell us that she was leaving obstetrics and only practicing gyno after July, so she can't be our doctor! She asked if we planned to go back to the original doctor (aka. old lifetime movie man) and we weren't sure what to say. I went ahead and made our next appt in 4 weeks with another doctor that came highly recommended, but I haven't been able to get an appt with because she's so popular. I asked about laying on your back and it turns out there is a vessel that brings blood out of the uterus and from your legs back to your heart that gets blocked by just light pressure. When you are on your back the pressure comes from the big uterus laying on it. She also gave me the most reassuring message about how the baby really is in the safe zone.

safe zone

It's funny that I've started to refer to things in weeks and it's difficult to translate that into months. Now I know why parents say their kid is 18 months old, etc. I'm officially at 12 weeks which is now considered the safe zone according to my doctor. It's a relief to be able to stamp out those little worries in the back of my head with those words. We visit the doctor this Friday. My big question this time is why I keep reading that after your 4th month you shouldn't lay on your back for more than 5 minutes. I have trouble sleeping on my side and prefer flat on my tummy (which isn't going to work much longer), but my back would be the next alternative. The reading said something about oxygen and blood flow, but we'll see what the doctor says.

excellent

Everything is "excellent" according to this new ultrasound technician that was very thorough at explaining everything to us today. He said there wasn't a chance of seeing anything related to the sex of the baby until 18 weeks or so (even though I heard you can sorta tell now it's just only about 90% accurate). He put the goopy stuff on my tummy and for some strange reason I was immediately compelled to stick my hand in it. Good thing for the big paper rag they drape over you to smear it off. Pip was sleeping with his little arm over his/her face when we first saw him/her today. Then when s/he woke up s/he was waving it around and you could actually see the hand and the little elbow. There is a noticable nose bone and almost no fluid along the spine so downs syndrome seems very unlikely. All in all this visit everything we learned was very positive. The printouts don't do justice to what you can actually see on the screen. I wish I could animate the little heart beat that looks like a poof of pixels back and forth. You can click on the image to see it enlarged.

baby belly

how big is your bump? well, it's bigger than i thought after looking at these photos. eeek my inverted uterus is definitely tilted up now. the pregnancy calendar claims the uterus is the size of a baseball in this week of development even though the baby is only about two inches tall. no wonder those pants are getting tight! bye bye waist line, enjoy your vacation.

you'll notice the big pile of boxes behind me ready to get filled up for our move at the end of the month! we close on may 24th.

what you don't hear

I keep thinking about the things that no one tells you before you get pregnant. You don't hear about all the crazy labor pains that your coworker had for two months before she had her baby. You don't hear about the scary miscarriages your friend's friend had last year. You don't hear about the false negative tests that everyone seems to have. You don't hear about the way pregnancy pants will fit or not fit. I was reading that after telling people you might be overwhelmed by all the advice they give. I'm excited to hear advice. What makes me nervous is all the scary stories. We are headed into our extended ultrasound tomorrow as I finish out my first trimester. I feel very lucky so far that everything seems to be going well. I hope to have more happy baby photos to share soon!

bustin out

I'm slowly growing out of my stock of pants. I've started hiking them higher, but it's starting to not help much. I wore a bella band over unbuttoned pants the other day, and I think that those are a great idea. I've been measuring for fun and I literally grew an inch right under my belly button from 9 weeks to 11 weeks. I found some cute maternity stuff at Old Navy the other day (sweaters with big tummy room for $3.97!), but pants are really goin to be an issue. They are just too long or too baggy everywhere but my tummy. I did find one nice pair of fold over black pants that I had visions of having to wear every day for months. I'm just glad we'll have our own washer and dryer again ;)

flying belly

Just returned from our first family trip to the United Kingdom. You can read and see more on my snapshots blog. Pip now has little finger nails that I kept nourished with Greek food along the Thames and a flashback to Wagamama in NYC in the 90s. We got plenty of exercise and my ankles had their first twinge of swollen. I wasn't sure on the trip there that I was goin to be able to put my shoes back on at all. I was squashed in the very back seat of the plane where my seat won't go back, but the person in front of me was in my lap. My knees were hitting the seat in front! I kept drawing the alphabet with my toe to keep my ankles and legs stretched out. I also made sure that I took long deep breaths, because even though I was reassured directly by my doctor and online, there were certain people that insinuated that flying while pregnant wasn't a good idea. Uhh, I don't need help being paranoid. The only bit of crazy I found online was that sometimes small planes that aren't pressurized can cause a lack of oxygen. So, the people around me probably just thought I was non-stop sighing. I got plenty of exercise and even though my vitamin regimen was off, I felt energized and not too tired (although on the last leg from DC to Providence I couldn't keep my mouth from hangin open I was so tired) J was such a relief on the trip home. I could literally lean against him and he is the best plane massager. I'm not sure if it was all the sitting, but my belly was even bigger after the long flight. Maybe it was all the good food too ;), but I'm calling it flying belly instead.

notes from the underbelly

Do you ever notice that when something new comes along in life it seems like you start noticing it more? When we got engaged, it seemed there were new commericals about weddings and the msn homepage was full of wacky wedding stories. Now that I'm pregnant I notice babies and pregnant women much more often. There is a new tv show called Notes from the Underbelly that is, according to the critics, "surprisingly laughable". I guess most people don't assume that craving pumpkin filling tacos with raisins isn't just plain laughable?! The main character, Lauren, is about ten weeks along and she has minivan anxiety and incredible food cravings. I'm not worried too much about practical minivans, but food cravings are another story. As I watched my tivo episode tonight, J sweetly brought me some chocolate pudding which baby pip devoured for me. Yesterday I ate almost an entire package of saffron rice with pip's help. I guess being hungry all the time is much better than being sick all the time.

the wonder years

Our new wind down in bed show is the Wonder Years. Only Fred Savage can bring up profound bits as my sloshy brain shuts off. The show started tonight by saying that we are all born as a little bit of everything...part scholar, part athlete, part musician, part comedian... then as we grow up we end up giving up certain pieces of our self. Flash to Kevin on his bike watching a piano recital through the window. He may have given up because he was lazy or afraid or just bored. But instead he is repeatedly told that it is his choice. He can decide to persevere. I hope to teach our little pip that he/she can make any choice he/she wants. But in the mean time, I wish he/she wasn't such a persistent little nipper.

J's way of celebrating

Breaking out of his recent streak of writing thrash metal songs using his Drums from Hell loops, J has written and recorded a piece of music (using some familiar themes) to celebrate our baby.

Click here to listen to "Lullabies".

pips nips aren't nips at all

I asked the doctor about this nip feeling I've been having deep in my tummy. Turns out pip isn't causing it, but instead it's my ligaments loosening up. The doctor said, "It only gets worse before it gets better..." Then she mentioned something about some women want to keel over in pain. Eek, I like thinking it's just my little pip moving around and maybe giving me the thumbs up. We saw his little buds moving around waving at us today. Etched in my memory forever is the heart beat immediately bleeping on the screen as soon as she placed the wand on the hot liquid on my stomach. Hearing that sound I'd searched for online (just to hear what I should expect) coming from my tummy is only just now bringing tears to my eyes. Then I was wrapped up in the whirlwind of the ultrasound. The 15 minutes of excitement and nervousness that I will never forget.

picture perfect

It's official - We have one baby that is about 2 centimeters tall and about 8 weeks and 6 days along! The technician said everything is picture perfect about five times. You could see the little heart blip on the screen and then we got to hear our little underwater dolphin imitator. He/She has an average heart beat according to the technician, and it sounded pretty perfect to me. They said that my due date is probably more like November 14th and everything looks good on all my lab work. We switched to a new doctor that has the perfect blend of no-nonsense and warmth. She essentially circled normal pregnancy on my sheet and sent us on our way.

can barely wait

I can barely contain myself waiting until tomorrow at 10:15 when I get to hear and see our baby for the first time. They will also be able to tell me how far along I really am. There is a certain level of anxiety involved, but I will be incredibly relieved after tomorrow. They should also be able to tell if there are twins brewing. This weekend we spent some time with our friends that are due with their second at the end of this month and have a three year old. She is really far along and I can still remember that when they told us she was pregnant you couldn't even tell. She has a really good spirit even though with both her pregnancies she's developed this weird hormonal joint issue that effects her knee. It makes me realize how hormones can cause so many strange little issues. I watched parts of the TLC baby block and even though I usually tear up a little bit, the hormones were causing the tears to flow. oh well, it's better than throwing up ;)

big blur

In a I-can't-get-enough-photography frenzy, I decided to sign up for two three hour RISD classes this semester. So I've committed to 72 hours worth of class in my first couple months of pregnancy without realizing that I'd have a new set of heavier eyelids and an uncontrollably yawny mouth. Twice a week on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I drag myself from work to class trying to convince myself that I learn something new every time, and I leave class energized and convinced it was worth it. I get back from class around 10pm and I'm usually pretty lucky if I can unwind before 11 or so. I'm usually starving as well, and I may have to start feeding my hunger frenzy. It may be hungry baby and not the hungry thighs I always used to imagine are calling for peanut butter toast at 10pm. I can't see anything but my belly growing, but oh how it grows. I can't suck it in anymore, I swear. I think I'm farther along than the doctor can gauge from my flaky period schedule. We'll know for sure next Tuesday. In the mean time, I will continue to plow through these weeks of work and class that are blurring by. Maybe I'll go buy the baby a RISD jumper, since he/she will have at least 72 hours worth of class time covered.

feeling fine

All sorts of sweet people are asking how I feel and I can say that I feel pretty good. I'm tired, but the sick feelings subside pretty quickly. They do surface when I'm running on empty without too much water or food. We were shopping for furniture this weekend with the sweetest sales lady and I really thought I was going to wretch in the dinette section. It was the sickest I've felt so far, and I was convinced I had no hope of making it out of the furniture showroom maze we'd become entangled in to get to the bathroom. When the nice sales lady took us through one of the secret cut through doors I knew all bets were off. Luckily I was able to keep it together and the snack and drinks section was right around the corner. We were able to sit down and relax with a little muffin and water. I was back in the clear in about 5 minutes, ready to keep looking. The trip was really successful with four major rooms completely outfitted.
Here's our new simple crib:

what I want you to know

Dear Pip,

I know that you can't hear me yet, and even if you could you wouldn't quite understand. I want you to know that your little nips are comforting. You came along unexpectedly breaking my baby fever. You have many people excited to meet you. You will be here in about 7 months although I was ready for you yesterday. We aren't literally ready yet, but we will be in our new home, your first home, soon. Daddy says that you will only see about a foot in front of you for a little while after you're born, so he promises to get really close when he talks to you. You'll like that. He will teach you how to sing a little rhyme and he's already convinced you'll be a bass player. I'm already ready for your birthday this November. I think this will be one of the only birthdays that doesn't include craft time, but I'm sure you'll understand that we'll be pretty distracted.

I want you to know that you are loved. Can't wait for big hugs and kisses, Mommy

pip likes to nip

It's like clockwork every night around 4:25am. I wake up with the feeling that my bladder is being pressed and I feel faint (sometimes sharp) nips at my belly. The nips are almost like hunger pains but stronger. After rushing out of bed for the bathroom, which I've never had to do before, I feel very relieved. I feel the little nips during the day too. I've taken to telling J that our little Pip is nipping me. I like calling my little baby Pip, but J said something about Pip being the name of the main character in Charles Dickens' Great Expectations. I guess he's a complicated character and it's not the most flattering nickname. Although I like this cliff notes explanation, "The main character, Pip, is a gentle character. His traits include humbleness, kindness, and lovingness. That, though, will change as he meets Magwich, a thief and future benefactor. Pip’s kindness goes out to help the convict, Magwich when he gives food and clothing to him. Magwich tells Pip that he’ll never forget his kindness and will remember Pip always and forever. This is the beginning of Pip’s dynamic change. Throughout the novel, Great Expectations, the character, Pip gradually changes from a kind and humble character to a character that is bitter, then snobbish and finally evolves into the kind and loving character which he was at the beginning of the story."

I was amused by all the meanings behind these three letters given online:
Parallel image processing
Private IP
Personal Information Portal
PIP Printing & Document Services
Press Institute of Pakistan
Puerto Rican Independence Party
Postharvest Institute for Perishables
Palisades Interstate Parkway (New Jersey, USA)
Partners in Protection (Canada)
Payload integration plan (NASA)
Picture-in-picture
Plastic irrigation pipe
Public interest payphone
Piss In Pants