Thursday, October 25, 2007
hiccups
Every night sometime in the 1am hour Aiden gets a rhythmic case of the hiccups. He even had them on the monitor at the hospital during our visit (that was two weeks ago today! I call that the beginning of my preview labor - aka. constant contraction craziness). The hickety-little-hiccups are something I will miss feeling once he arrives, but I'm hoping that I can comfort him more by giving him a little pat on the back. Tonight J got to share in the hiccups because some dumb cat movements sounded like a burglar trying to break in the window and we were already up investigating. This time I was armed with the phone and J had the sharp hair cutting scissors. I have a scaredy cat in me that I hope I can somehow not pass along too much to Aiden. I think that J makes me feel safe because he's pretty calm and collected with just the right amount of worry to take action and not make me feel like a nut case. The trick will be staying calm when he goes out of town. He already has three or four out of town trips scheduled in the new year. There may be little hiccups along the way, but I'm sure I'll get through those times.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
cow imitator
I have certain moments of mild insanity. One of these is something well documented in these pregnancy books related to how big and ridiculous I feel. I did pop early, as though I was having my fifth kid, but for a while I thought I'd sort of leveled off. I could wake up feeling somewhat normal and sort roll out of bed. Now I wake up wondering if I'm going to be able to get out of the bed without J's help. In tune with my general cow feeling, I am convinced that the cat is scared of my belly. When I walk towards her she freezes with fright looking straight at the shadowy, bulbous belly coming at her. I told J I think the cat thinks I look like a cow, and his reply was the cat has never seen a cow, so I doubt it. Such reassurance.
This morphing video that a friend of mine sent me is sweet, yet I was completely creeped out by how this girl didn't seem to pop. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that I looked like her 37 week photo at 19 weeks.... seriously, I think she's hiding her uterus in her skinny little leg or something. This better explains how high school girls can hide their pregnancies for so long. I guess it's proof that everyone is built differently.
This morphing video that a friend of mine sent me is sweet, yet I was completely creeped out by how this girl didn't seem to pop. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that I looked like her 37 week photo at 19 weeks.... seriously, I think she's hiding her uterus in her skinny little leg or something. This better explains how high school girls can hide their pregnancies for so long. I guess it's proof that everyone is built differently.
full term
Today marks full term. This baby continues to grow and will continue to grow once he is born. I'm a bit peeved at the ticker today because this should've been last week's big announcement. Obviously he's still growing, but we have been assured by five medical professionals that he is ready to come out at any time. What's with this "almost ready to come out even though" crap... boo on ticker sentence writing people that are probably just trying to promote patience. But today is a big deal to me.... This baby has officially been cooking for over 9 months. The next few weeks make up the hidden tenth month that no one tells you about! I want to celebrate. The doctor said that we could go out to eat if I take it easy and don't stand around too much. J's idea was to take me to my favorite Garden Fresh Bar at Ruby Tuesdays. If you haven't tried it, you should. It is better than it sounds.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
uterus workouts and ultrasound
I was amazed how much the leaves have changed in the last five days since I've been trapped in this house. It hasn't been as bad as it sounds, and I do feel more rested which makes it all worth it. We headed over to the doctor's office for our 37 week ultrasound (which was planned weeks ago). My belly is so tender lately, and I literally feel sore from this ridiculous two hour stint of insane contractions last night (I really thought it was a go because they got to about 10-15 minutes apart and an hour into it J was rushing around doing last minute chores so he could be there when I needed him to comfort me every 5 minutes for an hour (which is the real go time). It feels ridiculous when they fade away, but it's just a good 'ol uterus workout. At some point the fading away won't happen...)
I mentioned to the ultrasound tech that I was tender and he replied with, "oh, that's totally normal," and proceeded to bash his little instrument into my belly. (Side note: Our birth class instructor joked with us that you will be told numerous times that this will be uncomfortable, which is really a euphemism for this will hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks. I can't stop thinking of that whenever I get uncomfortable and it's strangely comforting because at least I'll know what to expect). So, the tech is perusing around my belly as Aiden literally kicks at his instrument. That kid had some serious aim. He measures out all the vernix ridden "dirty, old fluid" (since it is just constantly recycled through the baby's system) and determines that there is plenty of it for him to play around in. The vernix floating around in the fluid means that he has reached a good point of maturity. He comments on the placenta being in good shape and in a nice spot to be out of the way.
Then he goes in for the kill. He wants to get measurements of the head which is literally already wedged into the birth canal. He starts pressing so hard against my pubic bone that I swear he could've pushed Aiden back up. I ask if there is anything I can do to help (meaning can I shift my legs around or can you stop doing that please) and his reply is, "Unless you can break apart your pelvic bone, you are doing everything that you can..." Um, okey dokey. He continues to take numerous measurements even though he was having trouble. Then he moves to measure the abdomen, the femur, and the arm bone.
You couldn't really see a whole lot (no photos) because he's so tight in there, but his little heart beat was booming away. He also made a big fuss over what he referred to as his "apple with a big fat stem" and he is "most definitely a boy." Bottom line is that Aiden is right on track and he looks to be a few days bigger than the Nov 17th due date (although they can be off by two weeks right now). The tech said he would be right at the 50th percentile size wise if that due date is correct. The guess is that he is about 6 lbs 8 oz right now. The tech was extremely reassuring that he will be happy and healthy "if he decides to arrive tomorrow" since his lungs are fully developed. As we left, he said, "Good luck and don't forget to push really hard..." That's the plan and my uterus is already warming up.
I mentioned to the ultrasound tech that I was tender and he replied with, "oh, that's totally normal," and proceeded to bash his little instrument into my belly. (Side note: Our birth class instructor joked with us that you will be told numerous times that this will be uncomfortable, which is really a euphemism for this will hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks. I can't stop thinking of that whenever I get uncomfortable and it's strangely comforting because at least I'll know what to expect). So, the tech is perusing around my belly as Aiden literally kicks at his instrument. That kid had some serious aim. He measures out all the vernix ridden "dirty, old fluid" (since it is just constantly recycled through the baby's system) and determines that there is plenty of it for him to play around in. The vernix floating around in the fluid means that he has reached a good point of maturity. He comments on the placenta being in good shape and in a nice spot to be out of the way.
Then he goes in for the kill. He wants to get measurements of the head which is literally already wedged into the birth canal. He starts pressing so hard against my pubic bone that I swear he could've pushed Aiden back up. I ask if there is anything I can do to help (meaning can I shift my legs around or can you stop doing that please) and his reply is, "Unless you can break apart your pelvic bone, you are doing everything that you can..." Um, okey dokey. He continues to take numerous measurements even though he was having trouble. Then he moves to measure the abdomen, the femur, and the arm bone.
You couldn't really see a whole lot (no photos) because he's so tight in there, but his little heart beat was booming away. He also made a big fuss over what he referred to as his "apple with a big fat stem" and he is "most definitely a boy." Bottom line is that Aiden is right on track and he looks to be a few days bigger than the Nov 17th due date (although they can be off by two weeks right now). The tech said he would be right at the 50th percentile size wise if that due date is correct. The guess is that he is about 6 lbs 8 oz right now. The tech was extremely reassuring that he will be happy and healthy "if he decides to arrive tomorrow" since his lungs are fully developed. As we left, he said, "Good luck and don't forget to push really hard..." That's the plan and my uterus is already warming up.
Monday, October 22, 2007
warm line
Update time: No baby, false labor picking up and then slowing down. I'm convinced that he is a World Series baby, and I'm just trying to convince him that he wants to kick off the series or at least watch the Red Sox win from outside my tummy. I actually fell asleep during the game last night. The much needed rest and not watching the Indians give it up were a relief. (J's Red Sox better win!) Contractions still gunning for my back today. We get to visit the doctor with an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon.
Other commentary: The hospital has a baby "warm line" to call a nurse when your baby is home with you and there may be something wrong or off that you want to call about. I was telling J last night that they should have a maternity warm line so that you can actually talk to someone about what is going on... (Although I'm starting to think they know as much as you do about what the heck is goin on...)
J and I were gut laughing when we started imitating potential calls:
Pregnant Women with Bowel Issues: Um, Hi, yeah, I have a problem...(insert gory details on disgusting-o-rama) and it smells like Comet or maybe sorta sweet and I'm worried that it's mixed with amniotic fluid because I read online that fluid can smell like Comet... Do you think I'm going to go into labor soon?
Warm Line Nurse: Can you rate your discomfort on a scale of 1-10?
Preg: What's a ten?
Nurse: Pain in which it is impossible to speak or walk.
Preg: Do you think my voice sounds weird? I was thinking that too.
Every call would somehow disintegrate into a plea to tell them they are in labor or will be soon. It's no wonder they don't have a maternity warm line and you never actually get to talk to a doctor when you call the office.
Other commentary: The hospital has a baby "warm line" to call a nurse when your baby is home with you and there may be something wrong or off that you want to call about. I was telling J last night that they should have a maternity warm line so that you can actually talk to someone about what is going on... (Although I'm starting to think they know as much as you do about what the heck is goin on...)
J and I were gut laughing when we started imitating potential calls:
Pregnant Women with Bowel Issues: Um, Hi, yeah, I have a problem...(insert gory details on disgusting-o-rama) and it smells like Comet or maybe sorta sweet and I'm worried that it's mixed with amniotic fluid because I read online that fluid can smell like Comet... Do you think I'm going to go into labor soon?
Warm Line Nurse: Can you rate your discomfort on a scale of 1-10?
Preg: What's a ten?
Nurse: Pain in which it is impossible to speak or walk.
Preg: Do you think my voice sounds weird? I was thinking that too.
Every call would somehow disintegrate into a plea to tell them they are in labor or will be soon. It's no wonder they don't have a maternity warm line and you never actually get to talk to a doctor when you call the office.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
what's new
Saturday night at 1am: Baby gurgles wake me and J up. You could hear him blowing bubbles in my belly. J could even feel the bubbles from the outside. He was swishing and wiggling for over an hour. It's nice to not have to worry too much about my sleep at night, since I know that I can continue to rest during the day. I managed to get fairly comfy and even if I wasn't asleep I felt relaxed. I woke up with a new distinct type of contraction that was really sharp and mostly low. By 1pm this afternoon, J started noticing a pattern and he started keeping track of the times. It's now 8 hours later and they are somewhat regular at about 20 minutes apart (although sometimes I'll skip to 40 minutes and sometimes it will be only 10 min)... They are all fierce but pretty short - sometimes less than 20 seconds. Who knows, they are definitely different, but could just be another tasting on the contraction buffet. This buffet is worse than the Old Country Barffet, but at least I didn't pay $10.95 to get through the door.
ticking on...
Snippets of video originally collected to document all the maternity stylings, but it is now a tribute to the internal pacing as we wait for Aiden to arrive - Still plenty of time to hurry it up...
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too much baby story?
Is it possible to watch too many Baby Story, Birth Day, Bringing Home Baby, or Yummy Mummy episodes? Most would answer a resounding yes. I avoid the shows that emphasize the high risk births where something is wrong for some unexplainable reason, but honestly I can't tear myself away from the others. J is right that they all repeat themselves. But I'm not sure I agree that once you've seen one, you've seen em all. What about the glow worm jaundiced baby episode I just saw - I didn't know what a billiblanket was and now I do... I could go on to defend myself, but the real hope is that I'll have my own baby story really soon (minus the video cameras during delivery). This past episode a third time mom decided to attempt a natural delivery since she had done it before even though her doctor was nearly forcing medicine on her (on camera). She was in the "playing it by ear" category depending on how the pain was "manifesting" itself. The doctor was arguing that you wouldn't go to the dentist and refuse novocaine because you wanted to get a root canal naturally.
Ok, I get it, but I'm not sold that I will just immediately ask for the epidural. I don't really have a "do it naturally" mentality, but I have a fear of the side effects. I'm not scared of the needle and I don't think that the epidural harms the baby, but there are some realities of an epidural I'm less than thrilled about. It is true that if you take an epidural too early you can slow your progress (or stall it leading to an unplanned c-section or really long drawn out labor). It is true that epidural headaches can be terrible and I am particularly prone to disgusting sick headaches (I get sick from taking ibuprofen). It is true that you lose your freedom to move around and you have to get a catheter (some women stop feeling just in the waist but others can't feel their lungs). It is true that you bounce back to feeling normal a lot quicker without an epidural. It can be true that you push in a more natural even way (because you can feel it more) which can prevent too many stitches (this one is debatable). The other thing I know is that I have already been dealing with quite a bit of pain. There are all sorts of early labor pains to get through and they will give me a better idea of whether the epidural is worth the potential side effects. I would not avoid one to be a martyr or to tout it as an accomplishment. I believe that giving birth regardless of the circumstances is a huge accomplishment.
Ok, I get it, but I'm not sold that I will just immediately ask for the epidural. I don't really have a "do it naturally" mentality, but I have a fear of the side effects. I'm not scared of the needle and I don't think that the epidural harms the baby, but there are some realities of an epidural I'm less than thrilled about. It is true that if you take an epidural too early you can slow your progress (or stall it leading to an unplanned c-section or really long drawn out labor). It is true that epidural headaches can be terrible and I am particularly prone to disgusting sick headaches (I get sick from taking ibuprofen). It is true that you lose your freedom to move around and you have to get a catheter (some women stop feeling just in the waist but others can't feel their lungs). It is true that you bounce back to feeling normal a lot quicker without an epidural. It can be true that you push in a more natural even way (because you can feel it more) which can prevent too many stitches (this one is debatable). The other thing I know is that I have already been dealing with quite a bit of pain. There are all sorts of early labor pains to get through and they will give me a better idea of whether the epidural is worth the potential side effects. I would not avoid one to be a martyr or to tout it as an accomplishment. I believe that giving birth regardless of the circumstances is a huge accomplishment.
Friday, October 19, 2007
in the clear
My doctor just called tonight to let us know that I'm not preeclampsic. My complete tests came back clear and all my labs worked out as normal and healthy... She spoke only briefly to J (which is peeving me a bit, because I waited all day for her call, but I'll get over it), and said that she still wants me out of work and to take it easy on "limited bedrest" but I can feel free to walk around when I need to. She does not plan to induce, which is a big relief. I stopped reading the websites about induction since there are so many mixed stories. I'm glad that the little peak in my blood pressure and my frequent contractions are not indicative of any issues and that my doctor is being cautious. It's possible that if I just kept pushing myself I would've created a bigger snowball of issues.
coming soon?
Thursday was the first visit that my doctor mentioned unprompted that it's likely that Aiden will come soon. She is normally in the "oh, that's normal...he's not coming any time soon" camp and I was happy to hear her say that he was on his way since she'd already signed a work form that declared me "incapcitated" (eek, that is a strong word for forced relaxation) in order to be precautionary about my blood pressure. She also reassured us that Aiden is big and bouncey and most assuredly coming home with us without any trouble if he's born now. This is reassuring because when I left the hospital last week I worried about not being considered full term. I didn't want to be lumped into some high risk category, especially since I am still convinced this baby was conceived earlier than the due date determining factors. (I'm convinced that based on "date of conception" that our real due date is October 29th.) I know there goes the broken record on the due date debate again... The doctor also said that she was surprised that I made it out of the hospital last week with all the contractions. Sometimes I wish I knew more about what makes her say the things she says, but no one really knows anything for sure. Everyone does have an opinion and there were some people that invoked a bit more worry by saying that I shouldn't be pushing myself by even being at work. I really appreciate that the doctor essentially made an impossible decision for me by just insisting that I cut off from work immediately. I'm hopeful that this may head off the blood pressure issue by essentially preventing it and making me feel even healthier when Aiden is here.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
corkscrew
One of the things the doctor mentioned when she was checking me was that the baby seems to be "corkscrewing" around. He was shifting as she checked me and his little face was forward (it was back on Monday). The face up explains the back pains and pressure since the big part of his head is pushing back, but she's pretty sure that he will still shift around before labor. When my mom heard me say that he is moving around like a little corkscrew she perked up because it matched with what she heard from her friend about how she would just know she was going to go into labor when the baby would start wiggling it's head back and forth to corkscrew out of there. I think Aiden wants to be a corkscrew for Halloween.
strict
I had my regularly scheduled doctor's appt this morning and it wasn't what I expected. She examined me and I'm still ready to go at any time. She also noticed that my normally really low blood pressure is spiking. She isn't sure that I have hypertension, but she's having me do a 24 hour collection and she drew blood to double check. It's interesting that they have no idea why blood pressure is an issue for some at the end of pregnancy since it can hit anyone - She said that they think it may have something to do with the placenta, but whoever figures it out will get a Nobel prize. She also monitored me and the baby for a half hour. She reconfirmed that the baby is doing really well and has a really strong heart beat. I do have more contractions than she expected... no wonder I'm so uncomfortable. Bottom line is that based on all of this, she wants me out from work on "modified bedrest" starting now. I can still get up to make a sandwich and she said not to worry about walking too much if I'm comfortable... but no visits to the store and minimize trips outside of the doctor. It's strange to just cut off from work, but she was insistent about it. I've been trying to close out the books on a daily basis so I think everything should be fine. I'm just hoping that they are right and the baby does come soon so I have as much time with him as possible. Although timing wise, this may work out the best for work because I'll be back right before the school year starts back up again at the end of January.
Monday, October 15, 2007
spoiled
I think I've figured out that I've been spoiled by this smooth sailing pregnancy up to this point. I had a follow up visit with the doctor today. Aiden's "bowling ball head" is sitting "well into the birth canal"... "You must feel that pressure..." Oh yea, THAT pressure has been around for a while - I am the master of that pressure. The constant crampy and sometimes radiating cringe pain is what I can't get over. I think Wed afternoon was the turning point into crap-ville and I can't get over that it went from 1 to 10 on the crap scale so quickly. Oh, in other good news, the doctor told me there is something called a "weeping uterus" where you get unexplainable fluid leaking, so apparently I have nothing to worry about except that my uterus may be sad. Maybe she's sad that Aiden will need to leave soon... ms. uterus needs to get over her fierce separation anxiety ;) The doctor further reassured us that Aiden arriving any day now would be completely safe, and since a due date can be off by up to three weeks, he may already be considered full term maturity wise. I guess I will stop getting my hopes up and just concentrate on how much I enjoy feeling pip nip and kick... oh the days tick on...
shower pics
The shower at work seems like it was weeks ago. No one in Rhode Island knows about my blog, but I wish they knew how much I appreciate them. It probably wouldn't be any easier to express it, but I just wish there was a way to really say thank you. I brought everyone a sweet pumpkin muffin for being so sweet today and I was glad that I could get around to deliver them, even if just barely... I don't feel guilty riding the elevator one floor anymore ;)
Shower highlights... Ignore the slightly wrinkly shirt - If I had known about the shower I may have been more careful ;)
Eating bakery pizza (RI living highlight saucey reversed pizza, no cheese) with my other pregger's friend:
J got to join in on the fun too... We love big diaper cakes.
My normal aw-this-is-so-cute-I-can't-stand-it face that I'm glad makes J smile...
Cutting the massive cakes - including the highlight peanut butter frosted chocolate cake:
Peggy helping me show off the beautiful quilt that she made for Aiden - Adorable quilt pattern title: "Daddy, who hung the moon?"
Shower highlights... Ignore the slightly wrinkly shirt - If I had known about the shower I may have been more careful ;)
Eating bakery pizza (RI living highlight saucey reversed pizza, no cheese) with my other pregger's friend:
J got to join in on the fun too... We love big diaper cakes.
My normal aw-this-is-so-cute-I-can't-stand-it face that I'm glad makes J smile...
Cutting the massive cakes - including the highlight peanut butter frosted chocolate cake:
Peggy helping me show off the beautiful quilt that she made for Aiden - Adorable quilt pattern title: "Daddy, who hung the moon?"
Sunday, October 14, 2007
last minute prep
What I'm hoping is somewhat last minute prep:
The baby book is filled in up to the birth story. The two lines you get to enter in your hopes and dreams for the future don't seem to cut it, so some of it I left blank. I know that Aiden will know what his hopes and dreams are and that is what matters. It doesn't matter what I write down in two lines on the baby book. Although if I was witty enough I'm sure I could've come up with something for him to snicker at or at least roll his eyes when the book resurfaces when his fiance visits for the first time.
We went to Target and finished getting all the supplies they suggested in our baby care class. Some of the supplies were things they suggest for "mom's comfort" once we get home. Let's just say that I think more than one person looked at me like I was crazy when I was carrying around maxi pads with wings. We sprung for the extra two dollars and got a wipes warmer with the mood lighting. I'm thinking that with the winter chill that's setting in the wipes warmer won't just be a jive contraption that dries out the wipes. It even came with a bumper sticker that says I heart my munchkin - they are branding this wipes warmer, oh boy. According to their website I can actually enter a contest showing them where I stuck my sticker. The munchkin website already has photos of it stuck to pets, so I guess that Sophy kitty is off the hook... but I did think that it would be fun to stick it to her. Although the website contest just says you win a "special prize" if your photo is posted online. I'm betting it's another bumper sticker since you just ruined your last one sticking it on cat fur.
LaurenPod is in full force. I got a very early xmas present, an 80GB ipod classic. I was debating whether to go with the ipod or another mp3 player because I really want to listen to audiobooks and it turns out some libraries have free wma audiobooks online that will not play on apple. Plan is that I can still listen to those off my laptop and get others that will transfer to my ipod. All of our music is off itunes so that was the most important thing. Also, the world of podcasts is out-of-control... Does anyone have any recommendations on those that they subscribe to? I'm thinking that podcasts and audiobooks will be part of my nursing nighttime routine.
I reluctantly took off my rings and hid them after our visit to the hospital. I do want to note that they still fit even when I was retaining a ridiculous amount of water from all the IV fluids. Let's just say that the marshmallow man had nothing on my puffy cheeks... all I needed was a little rouge and I could've passed for a cartoon character.
In other big news, I may be way too excited about this, but TODAY the ticker switched over to the last big baby icon! Looookey see:
I love how a ticker can encourage me to deal with back spasm pains and the skin burn... Oh and this may be the last belly-bustin-at-the seams-shot, but I promise that I'm not getting my hopes up... although I bet you are so you don't have to gawk at the alien nature of all of this and/or deal with the nightmares (jk, i hope):
The baby book is filled in up to the birth story. The two lines you get to enter in your hopes and dreams for the future don't seem to cut it, so some of it I left blank. I know that Aiden will know what his hopes and dreams are and that is what matters. It doesn't matter what I write down in two lines on the baby book. Although if I was witty enough I'm sure I could've come up with something for him to snicker at or at least roll his eyes when the book resurfaces when his fiance visits for the first time.
We went to Target and finished getting all the supplies they suggested in our baby care class. Some of the supplies were things they suggest for "mom's comfort" once we get home. Let's just say that I think more than one person looked at me like I was crazy when I was carrying around maxi pads with wings. We sprung for the extra two dollars and got a wipes warmer with the mood lighting. I'm thinking that with the winter chill that's setting in the wipes warmer won't just be a jive contraption that dries out the wipes. It even came with a bumper sticker that says I heart my munchkin - they are branding this wipes warmer, oh boy. According to their website I can actually enter a contest showing them where I stuck my sticker. The munchkin website already has photos of it stuck to pets, so I guess that Sophy kitty is off the hook... but I did think that it would be fun to stick it to her. Although the website contest just says you win a "special prize" if your photo is posted online. I'm betting it's another bumper sticker since you just ruined your last one sticking it on cat fur.
LaurenPod is in full force. I got a very early xmas present, an 80GB ipod classic. I was debating whether to go with the ipod or another mp3 player because I really want to listen to audiobooks and it turns out some libraries have free wma audiobooks online that will not play on apple. Plan is that I can still listen to those off my laptop and get others that will transfer to my ipod. All of our music is off itunes so that was the most important thing. Also, the world of podcasts is out-of-control... Does anyone have any recommendations on those that they subscribe to? I'm thinking that podcasts and audiobooks will be part of my nursing nighttime routine.
I reluctantly took off my rings and hid them after our visit to the hospital. I do want to note that they still fit even when I was retaining a ridiculous amount of water from all the IV fluids. Let's just say that the marshmallow man had nothing on my puffy cheeks... all I needed was a little rouge and I could've passed for a cartoon character.
In other big news, I may be way too excited about this, but TODAY the ticker switched over to the last big baby icon! Looookey see:
I love how a ticker can encourage me to deal with back spasm pains and the skin burn... Oh and this may be the last belly-bustin-at-the seams-shot, but I promise that I'm not getting my hopes up... although I bet you are so you don't have to gawk at the alien nature of all of this and/or deal with the nightmares (jk, i hope):
Saturday, October 13, 2007
back to our regularly scheduled program
It seems strange that everything is pretty much back to normal. I am still feeling pretty heavy duty pains but they are few and far between. I can tolerate the belly tightening since that has been going on for a while, but if these radiating-burning-crappity pains don't just cut it out and this baby continues to make himself comfy I may be in trouble. They call this false labor, but using the word false makes it sound like it isn't labor intensive, so I want to call it "preview" labor.
Earlier this week I finished Aiden's cudly knit blanket and packed it away in my hospital bag. The babycenter website suggested getting organized for the hospital stay this past week. What to pack is pretty straightforward, but I noticed that they leave out what the husband/partner should bring with him. We need to add mouthwash and pain relievers for the husband because no one wants anyone counting numbers over their ear with fuzzy teeth and a headache. Our little visit in the hospital definitely gave me a better idea of what to expect. They gave me an extra belly sleeve to wear at home (which is what they use to keep your monitor against your skin, but is also really comfy to support the big expanding tight tummy). They also sent me home with the quite fashionable and very functional mesh hospital undies... All sorts of perks of the 8 hour mini labor extravaganza. I know, I'm grasping...
Earlier this week I finished Aiden's cudly knit blanket and packed it away in my hospital bag. The babycenter website suggested getting organized for the hospital stay this past week. What to pack is pretty straightforward, but I noticed that they leave out what the husband/partner should bring with him. We need to add mouthwash and pain relievers for the husband because no one wants anyone counting numbers over their ear with fuzzy teeth and a headache. Our little visit in the hospital definitely gave me a better idea of what to expect. They gave me an extra belly sleeve to wear at home (which is what they use to keep your monitor against your skin, but is also really comfy to support the big expanding tight tummy). They also sent me home with the quite fashionable and very functional mesh hospital undies... All sorts of perks of the 8 hour mini labor extravaganza. I know, I'm grasping...
Friday, October 12, 2007
what I know and don't know
I just don't know. Part of me doesn't even want to get into the whole story because I feel embarrassed and exhausted just thinking about it. We went to birth class last night and I was feeling particularly uncomfortable. I truly thought she was kidding when she suggested that all of us sit on the floor to pretend to bathe the plastic baby. I've been having these tight belly pains and just general back ick, so sitting on the floor is not my idea of a good time. I watched all the women two or three weeks ahead of me gradually make it to the floor and I thought I better stop being a whiner.
Back story: Thursday at work around 2pm (same time as the bad pains kicking up the day before) I had three distinct spots of wet. I won't get into the gory details, but it came through my light knit pants. I ran to the bathroom, ran back, did not pass go, did not collect $200, I called the doctor immediately. I've felt timid about being "that first time mom" and calling for no reason, so I hadn't called earlier... Don't know exactly why I feel this timid embarrassed feeling, but I do. It must be hormonal irrationality, but in this case I had to call. I explain what happened and I immediately qualify everything with "...but I'm just calling to be sure, I bet it's just false labor...classic false labor, right?!" I was still feeling it, but I knew it was irregular. But I didn't know for sure was whether my water was intact. The nurse looked for open appts for me, then after finding nothing, she said she'd talk to the doctor and call me back. She seemed like it needed to be checked out, but then when she called me back she said that the doctor says "it's completely normal and don't worry about it"... ok, those creepy-I-called-the-doctor-for-no-reason feelings start creeping into their creepy little spot where they make me feel creepy. I respond with..."oh, yeah, that's what I thought, no big deal, thank you, thank you... I just wanted to double check..." My thoughts after hanging up the phone where when is it a big deal...what/when should I worry...oh my god, I'm going to have this baby at home because I'm scared of feeling dumb when I call the doctor... how stupid... stop being dumb.
Back to Friday: Productive day at work, then I jump over to RISD to get some courses preapproved to continue my photo classes, then we rush over to our second to last birth class. I'd felt kinda crappy all day kinda like someone had beaten me up or sucked the joint juice out of my hips and back muscles, but mostly the same old tight pains. I wore a pad and it seemed to be getting wetter as the day went on...just clear wet... but no gush, no soaking through a pad. There was a lone guy in our birth class because his wife was upstairs and had just given birth earlier in the day. I immediately ask how did she know she was in labor? She had come in with the back pains and they sent her home, then her water broke, and she came back in and had the baby. Ok, sounds pretty simple, but throughout the class I kept wondering about the details - How much did her back hurt? My back hurts...sitting on the floor stinks, that must be it...oh geez, that same, how the heck do I know if I'm in labor thought is back...oh geez, I think I just leaked some more...oh geez, was filtering in my head with every tight belly... then the tightness would fade away and I'd feel relieved.
After class I wanted to get the instructor's answer to my question-of-the-week - How do I know if I'm in labor? She gave us the typical answer that it should be regular pain intervals, blah, blah, does make sense, but I still don't understand. Then she asked how I was doing. I told her about the leaking and she encouraged me to just stop by triage to double check on the leaking. She made it seem so simple, they can just do a quick test...like litmus paper to check what the fluid is.... She mentioned that you would really want to double check because if it is amniotic fluid it could lead to infection complications if it goes unchecked. Ok, I was done with my dumb timidness and she made it sound like a simple double check.
We cruised up to triage and all of a sudden I had hospital bands on and they were taking my blood pressure repeatedly. It wasn't off the charts, but I was nervous and it was much higher for me than normal. They eventually got a good normal reading. Then flash forward to over 2 and half hours of waiting on the most uncomfortable chairs when you are having contractions you can imagine. I had to convince myself numerous times that we weren't wasting our time and that it will be better to be reassured... meanwhile, I thought I was losing it because my pains were getting worse. We watched the Office and ER and part of the news and then they finally called us back. I felt terrible for the other ladies that had come in before me that I was called in before them...two of them had actually arrived in an ambulance, and the triage took me before them.
We were assigned to a triage room with a tiny little bed and a lumpy plastic pillow. I kept thinking, what the heck am I doing here without all the stuff I've prepared. I don't have anything, I was lucky I had a hair band around my wrist. It felt surreal to be laying there with the gown and the monitors all hooked up. I could hear Aiden's heartbeat rocking like a little champ. He had really started kicking during our waiting which was incredibly reassuring. I was getting contractions all over the place and they were actually plotted out to prove how crazy and irratic they were... most were about 65% or whatever the measurement is. They monitored for a while, then a medical student came in to take my report. He caught me qualifying my statements and explaining that I bet that sounds like false labor... and he immediately made me feel better by literally telling me I wasn't crazy and I was doing the right thing to double check. He joked that he'd seen crazy and I wasn't getting a ticket on that boat.
Then the doctor came in to check on the fluid. She took the swab away to get it checked and then she checked my cervix. I was 1 and a half centimeters (a week ago I was completely closed). They came back to let me know that I was not leaking amniotic fluid which was a good sense of relief. Then I thought, ok well, then what?! Our nurse, Traci was the most reassuring person and she helped me really continue to feel like the baby was "fantastic" and "amazing" at coping with my contractions. It's hard to feel like you are squeezing the heck out of your baby while he kicks and punches... I know rationally that he's doing fine, but it's reassuring to see that the monitor says he's happy and healthy too. They called my doctor (or the doctor on call that I don't know) to check to see what they wanted to do about my situation. They said that they wanted to get me on IV fluids to be sure that I wasn't dehydrated and to slow down the contractions. They agreed that at this point they wouldn't give me medications to stop them completely (because I'm far enough along to safely have the baby), but they wanted to see if the fluid would slow them. After a miss on the first vein (ick), she finally got the IV in on my other arm. The IV was cold and despite the warm blankets I was shakey. I tried to calm myself because it was normal and at this point my blood pressure was fine. They gave me an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid levels around the baby (confirmed as a bouncey boy). I had plenty of fluid and the placenta was in good shape.
About a half hour into IV fluid, out of the blue, my hefty contractions exploded into a knock-down-explosion of pain that I've never felt before. I had a 4 minute long contractions that was literally off the charts. J ran out to get the nurse after it had subsided. She came in and described it as a "titantic" contraction - She said she hadn't seen anything like that in a long time. I wasn't able to speak during it and I couldn't believe how ridiculously out of control it felt and then suddenly I was back to plain old uncomfortable. The doctor called it "a preview of things to come" and started explaining how the epidural is a wonderful thing. There were four more distinct crazy pains throughout the night, but they weren't consistent....They were just absurd, and I can't get over how absurd the pain is...you have got to be kidding me, was the only thought I was having. The bottom line was that I was going home unless my cervix had changed. They checked me three times and I was still one and a half centimeters. They said that unless the contractions cause the cervix to change I'm not in real labor. Uh ok, great, that just plain stinks. What the heck should I expect now? Bottom line is that they have no idea... I could go weeks with a "soft, squishy, slightly dilated cervix" and a belly that contracts with pain periodically. Or I could have a big gush of water all over the place and I will have purchased my ticket to Absurd-ville... where pain is so out of control I can't believe we have an over population problem in this world.
Regardless, I know that is a really long story. I'm not going to edit it, because just writing it makes me feel less crazy and embarrassed. I took my baby's health seriously and I know more than I did before the almost 8 hour visit to triage. I know that I'm dilated. I know that I'm not leaking amniotic fluid. I know that my baby's heart beats like a champ. I know that I don't have any sort of infection. I know that I don't have high blood pressure. I know that the pains are normal. I know that I can handle the pain, because... I know that what I want most in the world right now is to hold my healthy baby boy and give him a big smooch.
Back story: Thursday at work around 2pm (same time as the bad pains kicking up the day before) I had three distinct spots of wet. I won't get into the gory details, but it came through my light knit pants. I ran to the bathroom, ran back, did not pass go, did not collect $200, I called the doctor immediately. I've felt timid about being "that first time mom" and calling for no reason, so I hadn't called earlier... Don't know exactly why I feel this timid embarrassed feeling, but I do. It must be hormonal irrationality, but in this case I had to call. I explain what happened and I immediately qualify everything with "...but I'm just calling to be sure, I bet it's just false labor...classic false labor, right?!" I was still feeling it, but I knew it was irregular. But I didn't know for sure was whether my water was intact. The nurse looked for open appts for me, then after finding nothing, she said she'd talk to the doctor and call me back. She seemed like it needed to be checked out, but then when she called me back she said that the doctor says "it's completely normal and don't worry about it"... ok, those creepy-I-called-the-doctor-for-no-reason feelings start creeping into their creepy little spot where they make me feel creepy. I respond with..."oh, yeah, that's what I thought, no big deal, thank you, thank you... I just wanted to double check..." My thoughts after hanging up the phone where when is it a big deal...what/when should I worry...oh my god, I'm going to have this baby at home because I'm scared of feeling dumb when I call the doctor... how stupid... stop being dumb.
Back to Friday: Productive day at work, then I jump over to RISD to get some courses preapproved to continue my photo classes, then we rush over to our second to last birth class. I'd felt kinda crappy all day kinda like someone had beaten me up or sucked the joint juice out of my hips and back muscles, but mostly the same old tight pains. I wore a pad and it seemed to be getting wetter as the day went on...just clear wet... but no gush, no soaking through a pad. There was a lone guy in our birth class because his wife was upstairs and had just given birth earlier in the day. I immediately ask how did she know she was in labor? She had come in with the back pains and they sent her home, then her water broke, and she came back in and had the baby. Ok, sounds pretty simple, but throughout the class I kept wondering about the details - How much did her back hurt? My back hurts...sitting on the floor stinks, that must be it...oh geez, that same, how the heck do I know if I'm in labor thought is back...oh geez, I think I just leaked some more...oh geez, was filtering in my head with every tight belly... then the tightness would fade away and I'd feel relieved.
After class I wanted to get the instructor's answer to my question-of-the-week - How do I know if I'm in labor? She gave us the typical answer that it should be regular pain intervals, blah, blah, does make sense, but I still don't understand. Then she asked how I was doing. I told her about the leaking and she encouraged me to just stop by triage to double check on the leaking. She made it seem so simple, they can just do a quick test...like litmus paper to check what the fluid is.... She mentioned that you would really want to double check because if it is amniotic fluid it could lead to infection complications if it goes unchecked. Ok, I was done with my dumb timidness and she made it sound like a simple double check.
We cruised up to triage and all of a sudden I had hospital bands on and they were taking my blood pressure repeatedly. It wasn't off the charts, but I was nervous and it was much higher for me than normal. They eventually got a good normal reading. Then flash forward to over 2 and half hours of waiting on the most uncomfortable chairs when you are having contractions you can imagine. I had to convince myself numerous times that we weren't wasting our time and that it will be better to be reassured... meanwhile, I thought I was losing it because my pains were getting worse. We watched the Office and ER and part of the news and then they finally called us back. I felt terrible for the other ladies that had come in before me that I was called in before them...two of them had actually arrived in an ambulance, and the triage took me before them.
We were assigned to a triage room with a tiny little bed and a lumpy plastic pillow. I kept thinking, what the heck am I doing here without all the stuff I've prepared. I don't have anything, I was lucky I had a hair band around my wrist. It felt surreal to be laying there with the gown and the monitors all hooked up. I could hear Aiden's heartbeat rocking like a little champ. He had really started kicking during our waiting which was incredibly reassuring. I was getting contractions all over the place and they were actually plotted out to prove how crazy and irratic they were... most were about 65% or whatever the measurement is. They monitored for a while, then a medical student came in to take my report. He caught me qualifying my statements and explaining that I bet that sounds like false labor... and he immediately made me feel better by literally telling me I wasn't crazy and I was doing the right thing to double check. He joked that he'd seen crazy and I wasn't getting a ticket on that boat.
Then the doctor came in to check on the fluid. She took the swab away to get it checked and then she checked my cervix. I was 1 and a half centimeters (a week ago I was completely closed). They came back to let me know that I was not leaking amniotic fluid which was a good sense of relief. Then I thought, ok well, then what?! Our nurse, Traci was the most reassuring person and she helped me really continue to feel like the baby was "fantastic" and "amazing" at coping with my contractions. It's hard to feel like you are squeezing the heck out of your baby while he kicks and punches... I know rationally that he's doing fine, but it's reassuring to see that the monitor says he's happy and healthy too. They called my doctor (or the doctor on call that I don't know) to check to see what they wanted to do about my situation. They said that they wanted to get me on IV fluids to be sure that I wasn't dehydrated and to slow down the contractions. They agreed that at this point they wouldn't give me medications to stop them completely (because I'm far enough along to safely have the baby), but they wanted to see if the fluid would slow them. After a miss on the first vein (ick), she finally got the IV in on my other arm. The IV was cold and despite the warm blankets I was shakey. I tried to calm myself because it was normal and at this point my blood pressure was fine. They gave me an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid levels around the baby (confirmed as a bouncey boy). I had plenty of fluid and the placenta was in good shape.
About a half hour into IV fluid, out of the blue, my hefty contractions exploded into a knock-down-explosion of pain that I've never felt before. I had a 4 minute long contractions that was literally off the charts. J ran out to get the nurse after it had subsided. She came in and described it as a "titantic" contraction - She said she hadn't seen anything like that in a long time. I wasn't able to speak during it and I couldn't believe how ridiculously out of control it felt and then suddenly I was back to plain old uncomfortable. The doctor called it "a preview of things to come" and started explaining how the epidural is a wonderful thing. There were four more distinct crazy pains throughout the night, but they weren't consistent....They were just absurd, and I can't get over how absurd the pain is...you have got to be kidding me, was the only thought I was having. The bottom line was that I was going home unless my cervix had changed. They checked me three times and I was still one and a half centimeters. They said that unless the contractions cause the cervix to change I'm not in real labor. Uh ok, great, that just plain stinks. What the heck should I expect now? Bottom line is that they have no idea... I could go weeks with a "soft, squishy, slightly dilated cervix" and a belly that contracts with pain periodically. Or I could have a big gush of water all over the place and I will have purchased my ticket to Absurd-ville... where pain is so out of control I can't believe we have an over population problem in this world.
Regardless, I know that is a really long story. I'm not going to edit it, because just writing it makes me feel less crazy and embarrassed. I took my baby's health seriously and I know more than I did before the almost 8 hour visit to triage. I know that I'm dilated. I know that I'm not leaking amniotic fluid. I know that my baby's heart beats like a champ. I know that I don't have any sort of infection. I know that I don't have high blood pressure. I know that the pains are normal. I know that I can handle the pain, because... I know that what I want most in the world right now is to hold my healthy baby boy and give him a big smooch.
side notes
When I was in triage and they were going through my records, the due date debate surfaced. I tried to explain and joke that I call it my fraudulent due date... I don't think that my last period was Feb 10, I think that was implantation bleeding.... blah, blah, my doctor just doesn't want to have to induce and I agree with her so we kept the extended due date. Then the med student says (I squirmed when I heard it out loud), "So, I see here, that this wasn't a planned pregnancy." I felt like a somewhat irresponsible person when they made me check that box in the original paperwork. I am adamant that this is the best "pleasant surprise" and J says the same thing. It's really the best unplanned timing we could possibly have not picked. But who really gets to plan for these things anyway?! The idea that this baby may be bigger reassured the doctor in triage (since part of my paperwork says Nov 20th), and she recalculated her own due date of Nov 15th. Uh ok, yeah for a fourth due date! I have a signed paper that says Nov 17th that I used for the airline reservations, so I'm sticking with that date. But at this rate, there is not a chance that I will be one of the 5% of women that have their baby on their due date any way.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
grateful
I was feeling it today. Kinda waddling without a bounce in my step. Sore from false pains that don't indicate much. Sleepy, yet at work hoping for as much time with my baby as possible. I was pretty productive all morning ignoring the weird stretchy belt tightening pains. I was grateful that I could keep going. My boss called me in for a "quick" meeting before this big CISCO staff awareness day.
Back story: One of the other managers planned this event about a month ago and she talked about making it fun for everyone by having a potluck. The idea was to give everyone else a better idea of our partnerships with CISCO Systems and show their telepresence videos. CISCO supports the division quite a bit and we'd done a similar event last year so I was completely oblivious to what they were pulling over on me. My only skeptical remarks were to J saying I was surprised that we couldn't use a portion of the CISCO money to just buy food in lieu of having a potluck. Little did I know that he was egging me on asking questions about the event and the pasta salad I was making knowing all along how oblivious I was. I still can't believe he was able to keep the surprise.
Back to today: I'm sitting in my boss' office getting mildly nervous that he was going to make me late for our staff meeting. He eventually said why don't we both go up. We open the door, my heart starts to race, and I realize that I just brought pasta salad to my own baby shower! They completely surprised me! I am still floored by how generous and warm everyone is, and how lucky I am to be part of such a great group of people. They had chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting! They had egg salad sandwiches in the huge spread of food! They made a gigantic diaper cake with over 60 diapers, outfits, socks, and blankets! Big highlight was one of my favorite people made Aiden a handmade quilt from a pattern titled "Daddy, who hung the moon?" I just love it. I have tons of new clothes to nest with... I have thank you notes to write - I just wish that I could express how grateful they really make me feel.
I'll post photos soon...
Back story: One of the other managers planned this event about a month ago and she talked about making it fun for everyone by having a potluck. The idea was to give everyone else a better idea of our partnerships with CISCO Systems and show their telepresence videos. CISCO supports the division quite a bit and we'd done a similar event last year so I was completely oblivious to what they were pulling over on me. My only skeptical remarks were to J saying I was surprised that we couldn't use a portion of the CISCO money to just buy food in lieu of having a potluck. Little did I know that he was egging me on asking questions about the event and the pasta salad I was making knowing all along how oblivious I was. I still can't believe he was able to keep the surprise.
Back to today: I'm sitting in my boss' office getting mildly nervous that he was going to make me late for our staff meeting. He eventually said why don't we both go up. We open the door, my heart starts to race, and I realize that I just brought pasta salad to my own baby shower! They completely surprised me! I am still floored by how generous and warm everyone is, and how lucky I am to be part of such a great group of people. They had chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting! They had egg salad sandwiches in the huge spread of food! They made a gigantic diaper cake with over 60 diapers, outfits, socks, and blankets! Big highlight was one of my favorite people made Aiden a handmade quilt from a pattern titled "Daddy, who hung the moon?" I just love it. I have tons of new clothes to nest with... I have thank you notes to write - I just wish that I could express how grateful they really make me feel.
I'll post photos soon...
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
glowing purple
There should be a definitive sign you are in labor. J says he wishes your belly started glowing purple just so you would know. According to our birth class, less than 20% of women have their waters break before mid way through their labor. Some have it broken for them. So this hollywood act where the women is coming down the stairs and bends over to a big gush, isn't realistic for most. Although last week this woman at Brown had her water break in a big corporation meeting all over the fancy mahogany chairs. I've had Braxton Hicks contractions since early August (although I didn't know that the tightness without pain was a fake contraction until a couple weeks ago). Today I've had false labor pains in full effect since around 2pm. I was trying to ignore the belt tightening pain, and I kept thinking it was gas pains, which it probably is. J started keeping careful track of them timing wise and they are all over the place. It also not coming from the top down and I think I can make it feel better by shifting around. Classic false labor, I think. I think, because how would I know!? Nothing's glowing purple.
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