it's not a costume

I've been haunted by labor pains all day. They haven't spooked me at all, but the major symptom is that I did not feel like taking off my robe. It is a perfect 60 degree day where kids don't have to cover up their costumes with big fat coats, but you feel nice and cozy in a big fuzzy robe. Outside of that my rough and rugged belly feels pretty beat up and I can't bear the idea of wrapping it up in maternity pants. I didn't think much about the fact that I'd be meeting some neighbors in my bathrobe, fuzzy pj pants, and down wrap slippers. J was washing up from dinner and as I passed out some candy, I joked through my mild embarrassment... "This is the real deal, it's not a costume..." The nice neighbors were asking when I was due and offering up their kids as babysitters (can't believe we may be hiring babysitters in the next few years!) We kept our door open and as I rocked around on my birth ball I was keeping my eye on the glass door. All of a sudden a scary kid dressed as a bloody doctor with a big vile of blood jumped up to the door out of nowhere, and I nearly broke my big bulging bag of waters. We ended up with about 72 kids and about one extra bag of candy that is going to be hard to resist.

cat cuddling

J and I have two cats with two very distinct personalities. Sophy prefers J and Peanut prefers me. It's a good thing their names correspond in order to avoid confusion, eh? Sophy is the cat that I previously mentioned is scared of the big belly. She sleeps perched on my pregnancy pillow and when I switch sides I take away the queen's throne. She purrs so loudly at J that it sometimes keeps me awake. She is the best cat to play with because (as my aunt will attest) she will play with light reflections for hours. She is good company in this big empty house, but I prefer her during the day. Peanut is the cuddliest cat on her own terms. My dad calls her a crazed alley cat and only after witnessing her hiss at him did I understand how my cute-cuddly-curl-ball could induce terror. She will jump up on my lap, which is mostly just boney knees now, and look at me desperately asking me with her eyes to move that big belly out of the way. When I try to just pet her and get her to cuddle up on the available lap, she will pace back and forth across my knees occasionally trying to perch on top of my belly. Here's her normal cute balancing act:

dracula visits a day early

Halloween eve I start getting contractions that feel like Dracula bites. It's a day before Halloween and Dracula wouldn't come out before dark, right? So I try to ignore them. I had a project to fix up J's leather jacket, but I couldn't bring myself to go upstairs to grab it. You'll remember the day before I was cruising around the house just to count my steps, so this uncomfortableness is different. J went to the store to pick up Halloween candy on his way home, so that must mean that I will go into labor and we will end up eating it all ourselves. By the time J gets home I am getting them pretty frequently. J starts timing (since it makes me mildly crazy) and they are somewhat consistent at about 5-6 minutes each for just about one hour, then they start to do their crazy random crap again. Dracula is getting fickle. I try to keep calm since this will mark at least the sixth time that we have monitored really close, hard contractions that fade away. I get into the shower and they don't seem to melt like they had before. I talk to my sister on the phone and I can't ignore more of them. They are radiating down my leg making my left foot nearly numb. I start to get this feeling that during the hard contractions Aiden is frantic. He is kicking like he's stuck in a really bad haunted house and he's scaring his mom. This prompts me to call the doctor and give him the rundown. I want to be reassured that Aiden's increased activity isn't a big deal. He assures me that any baby activity is good activity and I should really watch for increased fluid and really consistent, hard contractions. Dracula keeps coming back in fits and spurts, but my blood must not be sweet enough for him to keep them at under 5 minutes for an hour. We'll see if my little pumpkin wants to come out and scare off that meany Dracula sometime today.

Apparently he can come out and scratch out Dracula's eyes with the fingernails that need to be clipped. Those crazy ticker writing people go from concentrating on brain and lung development to fingernails!?

yea for friends!

My friend brought me lunch. She even brought me a cookie. Since I've only interacted with J and my doctor for quite a while, it was beyond nice to have someone else to talk to in person. We weren't even talking about babies, at least not for the entire time! She was only here for about 2 hours, and we laughed for at least an hour. It will be an excellent test of whether laughing puts you into labor.

tuesday tidbit

Here is a Tuesday tidbit: "Tuesday is the most popular day for babies in the U.S. to be born, with 13,000 births on average in 2003. There are about 16 percent more babies born on Tuesday than on any other day of the week. Saturday is the slowest day with an average of about 7,500 births (this is partially due to the fact that doctors don't schedule c-sections and inductions on weekends)." (from babygaga.com)
Poll as of October 30, 2007
Before Halloween
9 (37%)
On Halloween
3 (12%)
After Halloween but before Nov 17th due date
11 (45%)
After alleged Nov 17th due date
1 (4%)
Change your vote
Votes so far: 24
Days left to vote: 18

pumpkin pics

Oh, the excitement. I was over stimulated really. The baby on the brain does take over the pumpkin design for 2007.

Lifting and shaking a 5 lb pumpkin does not induce labor - I tried it.

J wins the husband award again for doing all the seed picking. Yummy new addition to the snack repertoire.

Proof of over stimulation is that I can't keep my mouth shut.

3D additions may make it look like some sort of dog according to J - But I think you'd have to eat more than pumpkin seeds to see what he sees.

Wouldn't it be nice if this pattern glowed on my belly when he was ready to come out... yep, that would be nice. Then I would be staring at my belly all the time. Just like watching water boil.

doing nothing highlights

Today's highlights in order:

I had J bring down old boxes of fabric and stuff I couldn't reach easily. I rearranged stuff.

I untangled a bunch of yarn.

I decided to make a hat to match the fuzzy blue baby blanket I finished for Aiden weeks ago. Now I just need a baby head to check if it fits.

I fussed with Aiden's cuddle duds.

I tested out new pillow arrangements while watching the announcements on the community channel. I informed J I liked the music on this channel and he was disappointed in my music taste once again.

I tried to get the last bit of wax out of my candle and accidently dropped the glass container. It shattered and I spent tons of time being sure all the glass was picked up. Baby proofing early, since he will just lay around with us for a while.

I read two domino magazines.

I walked in a circle around our house 37 times in a 30 step path - That's 1110 steps. No labor yet.

And the highlight of the day: Pumpkin carving! I'll post photos later on...

I was tempted to paint my belly and I still might, so let's hope the baby comes before I get the chance. I know, boredom can play games on your mind...

whole lotta nothing

So I'm not sure what it is about watching baseball, but it manages to get me to sleep. I woke up with a fierce contraction just as the Red Sox clinched the World Series, but then a few more "nothing-contractions" to make the rest of the night uncomfortable. A nothing contraction is nothing that you want. It hurts like nothing you would believe. It's doing nothing. They say it does nothing to the baby. It's nothing I would wish on anyone. It's nothing you want to happen to you repeatedly without warning for over two and a half weeks. The Red Sox won the World Series and I have nothing to show for it. Ooh well, nothing to do today? Nah, plenty of projects on my "to-do-if-you-have-nothing-else-to-do" list. I'm off to do nothing...if you're lucky I'll tell you about nothing later on...

world series baby

I lost my coupon. I swear the pregnancy test box had a redeem for one baby NOW coupon that was going to expire soon. I would really, really like to get in on that deal. Maybe it's in one of my old purses in the basement...

Oh, the delusions continue... I am convinced that this baby will get on his way today or the Red Sox will not win game 4 tonight. He wants to be a World Series Baby, so I need to be in active labor in order for them to win. Call Francona and let him know...maybe he can get me some magic cervix melting cream (I'm reaching the point where I might get my sister to see if they sell that over the border at those Mexican pharmacies - only kidding). It looks like J wins and the Red Sox may have to be this kid's team. It's hard to believe that he will have an identity that includes being born in New England on a year that the Red Sox won the World Series (and it looks like it may be a repeat of 2004 with the Patriots winning the Super Bowl). J, even as a semi-non-sports-watching-man, is excited.

During the pre-game last night, I had a nerdy-craft-urge. It's difficult to tell the difference between this type of urge and my normal idea of a good time, but this was one of those nerdy ideas that required J's participation. Since he is in amazing husband mode (he just intuitively knows how to rub my back), he willingly made a collage. These collages are for Aiden. You can look at them thinking of them as symbolic of the end of this pregnancy or symbolic of our hopes for Aiden... oh, I'm glad that I hoard old magazines to create patience-inducing-time-filling-crafts-to-torture-my-husband (and by torture I mean in order to show off his incredible husbandness). You can click on the photo to get a gigantic version.

I know deep down you are all thinking this blog is getting boooring, I don't want to look at your stupid collages, I want to hear about birth - I keep refreshing the page because I want to hear about exciting-crazy-rushing-around-labor where babies pop out in the car. I'm guessing it won't ever get that exciting, but if he pops out during the winning world series pitch TONIGHT I will write a book about how interesting it was... Now that I think about it, that really doesn't seem that interesting either... Oh well, I just need to go find that coupon now.

what do you call this?

Bebe Au Lait, Hooter Hiders, Modest Momma Wrappers. These are all names for a nursing cover that is propped open a little bit at the top so you can see your baby without exposing yourself. All claim it's better than a blanket (since the baby may be smothered or something, I dunno). Now I just wish they had a device to type on the computer without using both hands. There are some of these nursing covers online with really chic, fun fabrics. Despite the temptation to spend $35 on one because the fabric is so cute, I was pretty sure I could make one (and it would cost less than $2). I didn't even need a trip to the fabric store (another fabric hoarding bonus). I had boning left over from my wedding dress, velcro scraps, and decent light fabric. Good crafty project to pass the time...

Please ignore the black stretchy pants. They are only supposed to be a layer under my clothes, since I can go from cold to hot in two seconds. Shoulda caught a photo during a cold second. Remember I don't leave the house very often.

votes

The polling on blogger was a new addition (under page elements if you wanna try it on your blog) that I couldn't pass up. When I first posted it a while back I think that the percentage of you that thought he was coming after Halloween was around 85%. At the time that seemed like it was really a long way off. Then as my body started to do its contracting tricks, I started to think that was a looong, long way off. You apparently thought the same thing and the votes started migrating to something closer to 40% before Halloween and 40% after Halloween. Whoever thinks it is after Nov 17th better just be joking. My doctor made that joke yesterday and I nearly swallowed my tongue.

One thing I'm really not sure of is who are all of the 23 people reading and voting? Are any of you strangers because you'd have to know me a little bit to know that most of the time I'm being kinda dry? I haven't told anyone in this area about my blogs because they live their life with me day to day... so I'm just surprised there are so many people reading. The google counter says there are even more of you at an average of 55 hits a day. I've already reconnected with some people and met some new people through the blog, but shoot, get on that comments tab or email and say hey if you feel so compelled.

My other idea: let's use the comments section to place some votes for the baby's actual birthday and time of birth. You can vote anonymously (although if you pick a date after the 17th I'd like some sort of explanation and an excuse to laugh maniacally does not count), but if you identify yourself and you are right I promise a prize! And you know it will be good because I have pleeenty of time to think of something really good. No purchase necessary, but prize may take months to recieve dependent on baby timing.

My vote is Nov 4th. Partly because when I was designing Aiden's birth announcement that is the date that I spontaneously plugged into the text. That date just sorta stuck a couple weeks back (prior to CCC - constant contraction craziness). I think someone has that date in the little pool my mom started, so there may already be a winner! I won't tell you the time of day I picked, because I don't want to ruin it if someone else wants to vote for that day. I guess a good rule for the contest would be whoever votes first and is closest without goin over. I know, too many Price is Right episodes lately.

normal doc visit

Everything is completely normal. Yeah, I got it and it's reassuring, but I am sick of hearing that. It doesn't feel very normal to be so uncomfortable all the time. There must be degrees of normal and some are crap-o-la and some are easier. I'm more effaced/thinned out (80%) than I was before but no more dilation (still little less than 2cm - 10cm is pushing time). The doctor is glad that "we've managed to slow things down" and protect my blood pressure through this forced relaxation. I admitted to being on the brink of boredom, and she said that she understands that I want as much time as possible with my little guy. She said that I should avoid doing jumping jacks, but otherwise do whatever I'm comfortable doing. The appointment was pretty much what I expected. J and I brought our birth bags with us with hopes that she would have a reason to just send us straight over to the hospital (like leaking fluid, extreme dilation progress). Wishful thinking...

you bored?

I try to act the way I want to feel. I choose to not be bored and to make the most of this time at home. I'm trying not to be too consumed by baby, but it is constant. It makes me realize that this may be the last time in my life that I have the luxury of feeling bored. So many awesome words of encouragement coming my way. I can't thank you all enough for that...even those of you that manage to make me cry.

Today marks a week of being out from work. I'm determined to keep myself busy. Thank goodness for the laptop (aka the kneetop) to make it easy to stay connected. You can only write so many emails, download so many podcasts, and read so many blogs. So what can a woman in intermittent distracting pain focus on? My coping projects include:
- Come up with questions for the doctor and research the answers online before I ask them (maybe this one shouldn't count, but it wins the time consuming award)
- Designing and redesigning Aiden's birth announcement and printing out addressed envelopes (I've literally plugged in photos of stranger babies to test out how it will look - indulge me, I'm bored)
- Making lists of things that J can do. Yep, I've become that wife because of my free time. It's simple things like take in the patio furniture cushions, take out the air conditioner, take muffins to the neighbors to thank them for all the veggies they gave us...
- Making four dozen pumpkin muffins and three loaves of yogurt banana bread (this new recipe I have is made with Banilla yogurt which is addictive -try it) ... with any luck they won't be gone by the time Aiden arrives and I can share them with my folks who will be coming to help us and the nurses who take care of us in the hospital.
- Draw out the quilt ideas I have for this hawaiian fabric I bought on our honeymoon. We'll see if I can get the sewing machine in a comfy position to actually start in on it.
- Try to plan ahead with xmas present ideas - thank goodness for online shopping.
- Play with IMovie, my new favorite program (although in big bummer news, we just discovered that our video camera wasn't working! I'd been using our little camera for the snippet videos lately and when I tested the battery on the video camera it wouldn't come up with a picture or let me change the controls. It's all covered under warranty and we already sent it in to them, but bummer timing and they can't tell us how long it will take to get it back.)
-Writing a blog about what I can do when I get bored

Anyone have any other good ideas (for someone that can't stand for too long) to keep busy?

boohooing

It's late and I feel like boohooing a little bit. I may have gory details in the mix as well, so please skip over if you're not into hearing a leaking woman whine. I can't think of anything more trying. Consistently and constantly I feel pressure everywhere... on my body, on my emotions, on my ability to sleep, on my patience.

Here are my major boohoos:
- Extreme low pressure of baby's bowling ball head ready to fall through my pelvis. I day dreamed today about making my own belly sling...I can't think of a better reason why I've hoarded so much fabric over the years. This "lightening" happened weeks ago now and I'm still not used to it, although it is nice that I can breathe easier now and I don't feel that baby foot up in my diaphragm/lungs/necessary-to-life organs.
- Loose bowels making plenty of room for baby recently and we'll leave it at that (although I still feel mostly lucky in that department given my ridiculously disgusting history)
- Change in discharge which becomes a preoccupation that no one wants to hear about. J doesn't even want to know that I attempt to monitor the smell. See I've already disclosed too much on that one.
- Contractions with a capital C (as in C.R.A.P. = Contractions Rapidly Aggravating Patience) These "normal" uterus workouts are ridiculous. How the heck does anyone know what I'm feeling in order to determine that is "normal" the minute it crosses my lips that I'm feeling a lot of contractions....I'm just glad that a monitor can give them some indication of my reality. Also, the fact that my cervix is dilated and "very thin" means that they are productive in some way. They are not only numerous, but Painful (with an intentional capital P). Then after they fade away I feel like I have rug burn all over my insides. My back is a big ball of terrorized muscles. I'm not sure I remember what it feels like to be normal... to get up comfortably or to walk without a wide waddle.
- Leaking with more impact from the future baby feeders. I'm going to be ready to start collecting it soon...better go get some freezer bags. This one I am used to since my body decided to prep for that months ago.
- Restlessness. I am in the habit of not being able to truly fall asleep even though my body is at rest. Then all of a sudden at a random time of day (usually when there are two good tv shows on, one I want to watch and one the tivo can pick up - I really have to treat good shows as a commodity now) I will pass out sitting up. We're talking deep restful sleep where I wake up with cushion creases all over my neck and my ear bent back.
- Weight gain has stopped and I actually occasionally weigh two pounds less despite being home all of the time surrounded by a ridiculous number of pumpkin muffins and numerous loaves of banana bread I made and froze thinking Aiden would be here soon and it would be so nice to have some homemade treats while breast feeding and to share with my visiting folks. Oh, I still day dream about cuddling him on the couch as daddy warms up a muffin for mommy...

If you will notice that this closely resembles a list of "signs of labor" - Yes, I have my hopes up, gosh darnit. Thanks for indulging me.

hiccups

Every night sometime in the 1am hour Aiden gets a rhythmic case of the hiccups. He even had them on the monitor at the hospital during our visit (that was two weeks ago today! I call that the beginning of my preview labor - aka. constant contraction craziness). The hickety-little-hiccups are something I will miss feeling once he arrives, but I'm hoping that I can comfort him more by giving him a little pat on the back. Tonight J got to share in the hiccups because some dumb cat movements sounded like a burglar trying to break in the window and we were already up investigating. This time I was armed with the phone and J had the sharp hair cutting scissors. I have a scaredy cat in me that I hope I can somehow not pass along too much to Aiden. I think that J makes me feel safe because he's pretty calm and collected with just the right amount of worry to take action and not make me feel like a nut case. The trick will be staying calm when he goes out of town. He already has three or four out of town trips scheduled in the new year. There may be little hiccups along the way, but I'm sure I'll get through those times.

cow imitator

I have certain moments of mild insanity. One of these is something well documented in these pregnancy books related to how big and ridiculous I feel. I did pop early, as though I was having my fifth kid, but for a while I thought I'd sort of leveled off. I could wake up feeling somewhat normal and sort roll out of bed. Now I wake up wondering if I'm going to be able to get out of the bed without J's help. In tune with my general cow feeling, I am convinced that the cat is scared of my belly. When I walk towards her she freezes with fright looking straight at the shadowy, bulbous belly coming at her. I told J I think the cat thinks I look like a cow, and his reply was the cat has never seen a cow, so I doubt it. Such reassurance.

This morphing video that a friend of mine sent me is sweet, yet I was completely creeped out by how this girl didn't seem to pop. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that I looked like her 37 week photo at 19 weeks.... seriously, I think she's hiding her uterus in her skinny little leg or something. This better explains how high school girls can hide their pregnancies for so long. I guess it's proof that everyone is built differently.

full term

Today marks full term. This baby continues to grow and will continue to grow once he is born. I'm a bit peeved at the ticker today because this should've been last week's big announcement. Obviously he's still growing, but we have been assured by five medical professionals that he is ready to come out at any time. What's with this "almost ready to come out even though" crap... boo on ticker sentence writing people that are probably just trying to promote patience. But today is a big deal to me.... This baby has officially been cooking for over 9 months. The next few weeks make up the hidden tenth month that no one tells you about! I want to celebrate. The doctor said that we could go out to eat if I take it easy and don't stand around too much. J's idea was to take me to my favorite Garden Fresh Bar at Ruby Tuesdays. If you haven't tried it, you should. It is better than it sounds.

uterus workouts and ultrasound

I was amazed how much the leaves have changed in the last five days since I've been trapped in this house. It hasn't been as bad as it sounds, and I do feel more rested which makes it all worth it. We headed over to the doctor's office for our 37 week ultrasound (which was planned weeks ago). My belly is so tender lately, and I literally feel sore from this ridiculous two hour stint of insane contractions last night (I really thought it was a go because they got to about 10-15 minutes apart and an hour into it J was rushing around doing last minute chores so he could be there when I needed him to comfort me every 5 minutes for an hour (which is the real go time). It feels ridiculous when they fade away, but it's just a good 'ol uterus workout. At some point the fading away won't happen...)

I mentioned to the ultrasound tech that I was tender and he replied with, "oh, that's totally normal," and proceeded to bash his little instrument into my belly. (Side note: Our birth class instructor joked with us that you will be told numerous times that this will be uncomfortable, which is really a euphemism for this will hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks. I can't stop thinking of that whenever I get uncomfortable and it's strangely comforting because at least I'll know what to expect). So, the tech is perusing around my belly as Aiden literally kicks at his instrument. That kid had some serious aim. He measures out all the vernix ridden "dirty, old fluid" (since it is just constantly recycled through the baby's system) and determines that there is plenty of it for him to play around in. The vernix floating around in the fluid means that he has reached a good point of maturity. He comments on the placenta being in good shape and in a nice spot to be out of the way.

Then he goes in for the kill. He wants to get measurements of the head which is literally already wedged into the birth canal. He starts pressing so hard against my pubic bone that I swear he could've pushed Aiden back up. I ask if there is anything I can do to help (meaning can I shift my legs around or can you stop doing that please) and his reply is, "Unless you can break apart your pelvic bone, you are doing everything that you can..." Um, okey dokey. He continues to take numerous measurements even though he was having trouble. Then he moves to measure the abdomen, the femur, and the arm bone.

You couldn't really see a whole lot (no photos) because he's so tight in there, but his little heart beat was booming away. He also made a big fuss over what he referred to as his "apple with a big fat stem" and he is "most definitely a boy." Bottom line is that Aiden is right on track and he looks to be a few days bigger than the Nov 17th due date (although they can be off by two weeks right now). The tech said he would be right at the 50th percentile size wise if that due date is correct. The guess is that he is about 6 lbs 8 oz right now. The tech was extremely reassuring that he will be happy and healthy "if he decides to arrive tomorrow" since his lungs are fully developed. As we left, he said, "Good luck and don't forget to push really hard..." That's the plan and my uterus is already warming up.

warm line

Update time: No baby, false labor picking up and then slowing down. I'm convinced that he is a World Series baby, and I'm just trying to convince him that he wants to kick off the series or at least watch the Red Sox win from outside my tummy. I actually fell asleep during the game last night. The much needed rest and not watching the Indians give it up were a relief. (J's Red Sox better win!) Contractions still gunning for my back today. We get to visit the doctor with an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon.

Other commentary: The hospital has a baby "warm line" to call a nurse when your baby is home with you and there may be something wrong or off that you want to call about. I was telling J last night that they should have a maternity warm line so that you can actually talk to someone about what is going on... (Although I'm starting to think they know as much as you do about what the heck is goin on...)

J and I were gut laughing when we started imitating potential calls:
Pregnant Women with Bowel Issues: Um, Hi, yeah, I have a problem...(insert gory details on disgusting-o-rama) and it smells like Comet or maybe sorta sweet and I'm worried that it's mixed with amniotic fluid because I read online that fluid can smell like Comet... Do you think I'm going to go into labor soon?
Warm Line Nurse: Can you rate your discomfort on a scale of 1-10?
Preg: What's a ten?
Nurse: Pain in which it is impossible to speak or walk.
Preg: Do you think my voice sounds weird? I was thinking that too.

Every call would somehow disintegrate into a plea to tell them they are in labor or will be soon. It's no wonder they don't have a maternity warm line and you never actually get to talk to a doctor when you call the office.

what's new

Saturday night at 1am: Baby gurgles wake me and J up. You could hear him blowing bubbles in my belly. J could even feel the bubbles from the outside. He was swishing and wiggling for over an hour. It's nice to not have to worry too much about my sleep at night, since I know that I can continue to rest during the day. I managed to get fairly comfy and even if I wasn't asleep I felt relaxed. I woke up with a new distinct type of contraction that was really sharp and mostly low. By 1pm this afternoon, J started noticing a pattern and he started keeping track of the times. It's now 8 hours later and they are somewhat regular at about 20 minutes apart (although sometimes I'll skip to 40 minutes and sometimes it will be only 10 min)... They are all fierce but pretty short - sometimes less than 20 seconds. Who knows, they are definitely different, but could just be another tasting on the contraction buffet. This buffet is worse than the Old Country Barffet, but at least I didn't pay $10.95 to get through the door.